From the Dearly Departed Maybelline Anderson:

Aunt Maybelline, or "Mille" as she liked to be called, would like to thank you all posthumously for attending this gala and lavish funeral. She paid a generous amout to Smithfield and Co. Mortuary to assure that you, the distinguised guests, would all get sufficiently "tanked" as she would so eloquently put during the afternoons spent setting up her will, informing the frankly stunned constituents of Smithfield and Co. while taking periodic swigs from a monogrammed brass flask.

"I want them all to remember me by not remembering the funeral itself" she would say, punctuating the last remark with a buoyont tug on her flask.